What I think about the “I love you” scene in The Final Problem

 (Sherlock meta by cogentranting)

[...] Sherlock only said it because he was forced to. And he meant it. And he doesn’t know if he loves Molly. Basically yes to all the options.

Sherlock is entirely focused on saving Molly. He’ll do whatever she asks him to if he can only save her. He’ll do anything to keep her safe- and unfortunately that includes hurting her. That’s why he’s so loathe to do it. Why he hesitates and needs to be prodded by Eurus. He knows that this entire conversation is hurting Molly, and he hates that, but he believes it’s necessary to save her life. So, like he does the entire episode, he tries to minimize the damage.

Molly says she can’t say that to him. That he knows why. And Sherlock seems confused. “of course you can. why can’t you?” And part of that is because he’s trying to make this quick and simple and painless. He’s not asking for her love, just for the words. He has this desperate sort of hope that maybe, just for a few moments, she can be like him. She can bury the emotions and the words can just be words. Even when she admits in that breathless teary way that it’s true he pushes. His voice gets commanding, a bit mean. Trying to communicate his desire for her to put aside emotion and just say the words. To be rational. To be like him.

But she can’t. Or rather, she won’t. Molly Hooper, for all her soft-spoken mousey ways, is made of steel. She doesn’t make herself more like Sherlock. She makes Sherlock more like her. She’s not gonna play his games. If he’s gonna call without explanation and ask the impossible from her that’s what he’s going to get. She won’t hide her emotions for him. She won’t make it easy for him. And she’s going to make sure he’s not toying with her, not making fun of her. So she’s going to make him say it first. What he’s asked demands that she lay her emotions out in the open. So she demands he do the same.

And it catches him off guard. He didn’t expect that. Didn’t expect her to push back when he pushed her. He’ll do it- of course he will because that’s what it takes to save her. Just like shooting Magnussen was what it took to save John and Mary. And he has to make it believable. Say it like you mean it. He gathers himself, tries to find the way to say it, to do his best to convince her it’s true.

So he says it. And then he says it again. Because something surprised him when he said it. And he has to try the words again. See how they taste. What he finds is not the facsimile of emotion he tried to create. It’s actual emotion. Emotion he didn’t realize was there but has been for a long time. And he definitely means it. But he doesn’t really know that he means it. He’s never asked himself whether or not he loves Molly Hooper. He knew that he loves her in the way that he loves John or Mycroft or Mary. But that sort of love… he hasn’t allowed himself to question that.

Molly responds, almost inaudibly. Says the words he knew but wouldn’t think about. She loves him. Hearing those words from a person should be beautiful and wonderful and comforting. But these aren’t. These were ripped from her by force. The same as they were ripped from him. By Eurus. It’s ugly, manipulative, cruel. Forced, not earned. Premature. Molly and Sherlock are both wounded and bleeding, the words cut out of them, with Eurus forcing Sherlock to wield the knife.

Molly’s cut off and Sherlock has to press on, with Eurus pausing to taunt him and point out the damage. She leaves and Sherlock breaks down. Frustration, rage, pain, confusion. Because he had to hurt Molly, not even to save her life as he thought, just for Eurus’s experiment. Because the moment was so wrong, so broken. Because he was made to confront the fact that he feels something for Molly but isn’t ready to process those emotions. Because he feels helpless and knows there’s more to come. Because he’s afraid for everyone he loves. Because Eurus is cutting him open to show everyone all the carefully sheltered emotions he’s hidden deep inside. Emotions he’s kept locked up so tight that he doesn’t know what to do with them, so long protected that they’re fragile and painful to touch.

Sherlock told Molly he loved her, purely so that she would say the words to save her life. But in saying those words he revealed feelings he didn’t know he had. And in those moments he couldn’t think them through. So Sherlock still doesn’t know if he loves Molly.Which is fine because, as far as he’s come, he’s not yet ready to be in an actual relationship with someone. But the question has been asked- the question no one has thought or dared to ask until now. And Molly knows the answer. Maybe Mycroft and John do too. The answer is yes, Sherlock loves Molly. But he hasn’t realized it yet. He will. Given time. Happy times at Baker Street will give the feelings a chance to grow big enough for him to recognize, now that they’ve been exposed and given room to breathe. And Molly will wait. Painful as that cruel experiment was, it had a silver lining. As the entire Eurus catastrophe did. Terrible events that brought about good things, in spite of it all. Because Molly owns the truth. Molly loves Sherlock and that love is strong and determined and faithful, whether it’s requited or not. And Sherlock loves Molly, thought that love is new and uncertain and just learning how to be strong. Just give them time.