I Want To Break Free: Or How Sherlock got his groove back 

 (Sherlock meta by penelope1730)

So, did anyone else think that Jim Moriarty’s playlist song - Queen’s “I Want To Break Free” - might have been intentionally introduced as one of the metaphors for The Final Problem? As well as Sherlock and Molly? Honest to God, I never thought, in a bazillion years, I’d end up writing a song meta. I love music, surrounded by musicians & music - but a meta? Who woulda thunk….

There’s some spectacular metas floating around that go into incredible detail about the Sherlock and Molly set-up (excellent reading, btw), but this song, more or less, sums it up in a nutshell. It truly is a mixture of fears, thoughts and feelings that have been exchanged between these two characters since the very beginning, including within themselves. It couldn’t have been more perfectly and surreptitiously placed in this episode. Especially as it’s introduced by a crazy mofo.

The focus of love, unacknowledged and unrequited, has always zeroed in on Molly. As she’s pretty much the only ‘real life’ relatable character in this fictional world (aside from Lestrade), one of her functions has been to humanize everyone in the story, although primarily Sherlock. Yes, I know John’s important, but this isn’t about John, so let’s just save focusing on him for another meta.

Love, romantic or otherwise, can’t exist in a vacuum. At least not forever. That’s not the nature of Love. Eventually it has to be set free and this is something we’ve directly seen Molly struggle with. We’ve witnessed her feelings mocked; we’ve witnessed her innocence broken along with her trust shaken and shattered; we witnessed her attempt to focus her heart elsewhere and when that failed, we even witnessed her use of distancing by focusing on the practical, yet unconditional, elements of love. She has always found a way to pick herself up and move on in the healthiest possible way. Always. But, and this is a big BUT, in our distraction of focusing on Molly, many never really saw (shipper goggles set aside), that Sherlock was stuck in the same vacuum.

Both characters, Molly and Sherlock, have needed to set themselves free. Not only from their respective ‘prisons’ that have prevented free expression with one another, but the lies they’ve told themselves, and each other, which sustained emotional bondage.

I really dig this passage from the book, A Course In Miracles:

“The course does not aim at teaching the meaning of love, for that is beyond what can be taught. It does aim, however, at removing the blocks to the awareness of love’s presence, which is your natural inheritance. The opposite of love is fear, but what is all-encompassing can have no opposite.” 

Fear, in this case, has been the gatekeeper of the biggest lie. It truly is the final problem. Breaking down all those barriers to love’s presence. But, it’s also the message behind Queen’s “I Want To Break Free.” It can be so easy to look upon another and see their lies, game playing or self-denial. Not so easy with ourselves, however. Life has sorta trained us to look outside of ourselves for the causation of pain, leaving us beret of personal accountability and culpability of our choices.

I could make this strictly about romantic love, but it’s more than that. Romance is just one of the many avenues in which love can be expressed. Love, itself, is profound and indelible. Choosing to allow, express and receive love with another being is so much more than flowers, kisses, midnight pillow talk, and sex. It requires not only the ability to be vulnerable and authentic, but understanding of the Self. Truly, we cannot hope to extend love to another if we have no concept of who we are, what we’re about, or capable of.

Criminally insane and batshit crazy Jim Moriarty gave us two bold clues about the very long game that was being played out via his soundtrack.

The first was about himself: Staying Alive (Bee Gees, 1977). It was tough for him. Suicide has never been a shy theme in the SHERLOCK series and Jim Moriarty sought what he believed was the ultimate freedom: Death.

The second was about Sherlock’s life: I Want To Break Free (Queen, 1984) from lies. The Final Problem showed us that Sherlock, from a very early age (4 years old), chose a revisionist history over acceptance and allowance. If he didn’t like something personal to him, he’d re-write the story. In many respects, this is actually a really healthy thing to do. If we want to change a condition or circumstance in our life for the better - telling a new story is a good way to begin. However, when it involves suppression and self-denial - even when it’s roots were justifiably based in trauma or self-protection - it will eventually erode into attrition. Cognitively, the use of this application, over time, will create a sort of dissonance. With Sherlock, it no longer protected him from trauma - the event had long passed. Instead, it created a different kind of trauma by emotional crippling.

Honestly, all of this has been said before, and more eloquently, in other meta’s (go read ‘em), but the ‘I Love You’ and 'coffin’ scene are clearly represented in 'I Want To Break Free.’ 

“But life still goes on; I can’t get used to, living without, living without, Living without you by my side, I don’t want to live alone, hey God knows, got to make it on my own, So baby can’t you see I’ve got to break free.” 

In ASiP, Mycroft told John Watson that his therapist got it wrong. He instructed John to fire her. John wasn’t traumatized by the war, he missed it. For as brilliant and remarkable as Mycroft is, unfortunately, he got it wrong by misunderstanding the intention and meaning of “I Love You.” It’s perfectly understandable that he would. Love is something he denies himself, even though it’s something he desires. Mycroft thought 'I love you’ was about someone who loves Sherlock. And, in one respect he was right - it was the clue that Sherlock knew would bust open a fixed decision. And what this particular test was about. If you recall, it was “Vivisection” - the opening of Sherlock so he would recognize, as well as those present, how he really works… and expose what’s going on behind that immutable facade he wears. Ouch! Bet he didn’t wake up that morning thinking, “Today’s the day!” No. He was laid bare and vulnerable - all his arrogance and superiority crushed with three little words - because the I Love You wasn’t about who loves him, it was about who he loves. Ironic how he foretold us this in The Lying Detective:

Your life, once it’s over, it’s not you who’ll miss it. Your own death is something that happens to everybody else. Your life is not your own. 

Of course, he was talking about suicide (and Mary’s death, which he’s grieving), but the point he makes remains valid. Our death is a long term event that will be experienced through loss and grief by those who love us and miss our physical presence. It will be experienced through memories, possessions shared, voids where our life used to stand - but it will also be missed through - “So many days not lived, so many words unsaid, etc, etc, etc.” It might be a difficult fact to face, but when we’re dead, we’re no longer concerned with all the earthly, mundane affairs. We’re soaring through the clouds, re-emerged with non-physical energy and the Conscious Mind. It’s those we leave behind who will be thinking about all the things they never said, but wished they had. They will be thinking about all the things they wished they did, but never got around to. They will think about all the lost moments, never to be retrieved. That’s what grief is relative to death. Irretrievable loss. It’s what my neighbor is currently going through right now…his wife of 35 years passed away on Christmas day.

As a counselor, I speak with thousands of people - directly and through workshops. The primary questions people ask about their loved ones who’ve re-emerged into non-physical are not about “Why didn’t they leave a will?” Or, “I hope they rot in hell.” Instead, they are always about, “Are they okay? I never got to say good-bye. Do they know how much I love them? I never said I Love You. I never said it enough. I always thought we’d have more time. How do I move on? I don’t think I’ll ever be okay. This isn’t happening, it doesn’t feel real.” These are actual concerns the grieving confront upon the death of someone they love, especially as they move through despondency and depression. The dead don’t place a golden plaque on a coffin that says 'I Love You.’ That’s what their beloved does.

If you’ve ever read Harry Potter, Dumbledore sums it up pretty cool, too:

“Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all those who live without love.” 

We’ll never actually know exactly how Sherlock and Molly went about resolving this whole thing. That’s what imagination and fanfic is for. But, like Sherlock, Moffat and Gatiss don’t have a problem saying: “We’ll leave you to your own deductions.” Since clues are like gold in this show, Molly’s effervescent smile at the end sums it up nicely: They Broke Free.