On Molly's age and her love for Sherlock
Like I’m sorry but Molly Hooper is almost 40 years old? What 40 year old woman spends her days slicing lemons and pining over gay men for seven years? What 40-year old woman’s ultimate wish is to have said gay man say “I love you” to her even while knowing he doesn’t mean it? GOD DAMMIT take up a hobby! Go for a walk! Have some self-respect!
It makes me so fucking furious because I know that it’s not Molly’s fault that she’s written that way, and it’s not Loo’s fault that she has to play Molly that way. It’s mofftiss’ misogynistic writing to make her a pathetic lovelorn mousy fucking plot device when WE KNOW she’s so much more than that.
But GOD it’s so fucking goddam unrealistic that a beautiful, intelligent, accomplished, GROWN FUCKING WOMAN would EVER act this way for a man. ANY man. Or would hold onto these unrequited feelings (that she FOR SURE KNOWS are unrequited) for this many years. Like…it’s actually ridiculous to even consider for me.
If Molly had “fallen” for Sherlock at 15 and she was 22 now….okay. I believe she could still be hung up on him due to age and lack of life experience. But this isn’t the case with our Molly. There is NO WAY a woman of Molly’s age would act THIS way after THIS long.
It’s like mofftiss took every bit of strength and agency and self-possession Molly had or developed over the years flushed it down the toilet for the opportunity to use her as a wet rag plot device once again. Why?? Whyyyyy????
Anonymous:
When people bring up Molly's age its not because they think it's bad to be a 38 yr old woman. It's bc its unrealistic that a woman her age (meaning that her maturity level and outlook on life is different than someone in their 20s or teens) who is intelligent, capable and strong would pine over someone for 7 freaking yrs w/o moving on. And no Tom, a Sherlock replacement, doesn't count. Yes, maybe it happens irl but it still doesn't do justice to Molly's character. Just wanted to clarify.
petratodd:
Molly is out there dating and having sex and getting engaged and living her life. (And yes Tom DOES count, so shut the fuck up. He might look like Sherlock but his personality was light years different, obviously.) So yeah, it IS people being misogynistic and ageist when you’re commenting on Molly’s age. People are prone to falling in love and staying that way when they’re 38 as much as much as when they’re 22.
For the record- I AM 38. No, I’m not in love with anyone at the moment, but most of my real life friends are around my age, and we’re all pretty experienced with love and relationships. Once you feel love, it’s hard to let go of it. You might move on and date other people, but there are some individuals you never quite get out from under your skin. And that’s what it’s like for Molly. It’s not pathetic. She isn’t demanding anything from him, or killing herself for him. She’s his friend, who happens to love him. Love is good.
And the double-standard is so blatant it’s disgusting. You all sit there claiming Sherlock is pining for John and oh isn’t it grand and lovely. Meanwhile you say this shit? Fuck off, you’re not fooling anyone with half a brain. Check your internalized misogyny and your ugly ageism.
penelope1730:
“And yes Tom DOES count, so shut the fuck up.” <— All the love for this!
Also - let me toss this out there - WHO THE FUCK CARES?!!!!! Really. Who the fuck are you people - the Age and Love Police that you get to decide for another human being (a fictional character no less!) when emotions, feelings, caring and love fall into attrition and no longer count or considered valid? WTF? Mind your own goddamn business, man. Like, what d’ya got - a timer and calendar shoved up your ass that somehow enable you with a sense of entitlement and supreme authority over another being as their moral and emotional arbiter? Jesus, lay the fuck off *fictional* Molly or any other REAL humans in your life that might even marginally hold love in their hearts longer than what you deem appropriate.
I’m not going to even attempt to remind you of manners or how to be a human, because clearly you don’t give a flying fuck. Your behaviors might reflect misogyny but I wanna keep this simple so your single celled brains can comprehend: You are bullies and tyrants and fan-atical oligarchical wanna be’s with absolutely no power whatsoever.
John Lennon married Yoko Ono, and Sherlock said 'I Love You' to Molly. Get over it.
mae-jones:
The biggest disconnect and FAIL I see at this argument - no one can explain what exactly the fuck Molly is giving up by continuing to love Sherlock.
Maybe there might be some argument that she gave up everything for a love that wasn’t going to happen but do we see that? Does Molly give up anything in her love for Sherlock? Has she put her career on hold? Has she put off any dreams? What exactly is she sacrificing for a chance with Sherlock except a mediocre life with someone she doesn’t really love?
Like, what would any of us give to know ourselves that well? How many of us have fucking settled and regretted it? The implication in all this is that old misogynistic garbage that she put off having children for him and is getting too old to reproduce. There is exactly ZERO evidence Molly Hooper is interested in having children and so again I ask, what the hell is she sacrificing to make her somehow worthy of scorn? How long has it been since she broke up with Tom? A year, tops? Who says she hasn’t dated since then? Oh, yeah, nothing! Who says she’s even pining and miserable? You can love someone and use them as inspiration for what you want out of your next relationship, you know. You can love someone forever and still live a full life without them.
God, in fact, the evidence for Molly Hooper’s motivations are so thin that we don’t even know if she’d have Sherlock if he got down on one knee and offered her his fucking world. Maybe she doesn’t even want him anymore. You can also still love someone and not want them, let that blow your wanky little minds.
So yeah, to claim Molly is still pining and she’s pathetic for it, not only is it ageist and misogynistic af, there’s no solid evidence for it.
strawberrypatty:
Not to mention so many of the people who come up with this argument that it’s pathetic that Molly is pining after Sherlock at her age want Sherlock to be a forty-year-old virgin weeping while wanking off to the thought of his unspoken love for his former flatmate.
Why is Molly’s love pathetic at her age while Sherlock’s is a thing of beauty?
There’s also… Molly’s not actively pining for Sherlock. It’s not like she sits at home day after day and writes Mrs Doctor Molly Holmes in her notebook. We don’t see her actively pursuing anything with Sherlock in series four. It’s quite possible (and in fact I feel heavily implied) Molly’s so upset about the whole “I love you” because saying it would bring those feelings that she’s been pushing aside for a long time up to the surface.
The heart wants what it wants. It’s not pathetic. You can’t will yourself to stop loving someone.
bassfanimation:
Breaking News: Internet fandom filled with teens and 20-somethings explain to older women how they should and shouldn’t love. Full story at 9.Anon’s message reeks of immaturity and inexperience with love. You never, NEVER forget those you’ve loved. I don’t care if it’s from grade school, college, or any point in between and after. You do not ever forget feelings you had for people. Even if you do move on and marry someone else, have kids with that person, and spend the rest of your life loving them, you still look back at others you’ve loved and remember them. As a 38 yr old myself, I loved people in the past that, for complicated reasons, I couldn’t be with. I still remember them today, and a part of me still hurts that they’re not in my life, even though I am happily married to someone I love now.
Human beings do not simply drop such strong emotions as love at the drop of a hat, or at the request of busybody, insecure fandom nerdasses who like to poke around where they don’t belong. We don’t stop being creatures of emotion and passions as soon as we hit 30. But as children, you wouldn’t understand that. Someday, you will.
Meanwhile, how about we knock it off with the chastising of 38 year old WOMEN for their long term love while lusting over 40 and 50 year old MEN pining for each other while crying and masturbating in their beds at night.
chocolatequeennk:
Also, as a 38 year old woman who has dealt with unreciprocated love, I look at Molly as an amazing example of how to handle that very difficult situation. This is how a mature woman goes about her life while being in love with someone she thinks does not return her affection.
She doesn’t run from a good position at Barts because she can’t handle seeing Sherlock regularly.
She doesn’t constantly say things that make him feel uncomfortable because of her feelings.
She doesn’t treat him differently than she did before she decided he wouldn’t return her affections.
She continues to interact with him with the utmost level of professionalism and decorum, when the topic is work-related.
She is able to be his friend, and as his friend she is not afraid to call him out on his bullshit. She doesn’t moon over him and let him get away with hurting his friends and family. She makes no excuses for his behaviour–this is no starry-eyed girl looking at Sherlock through rose-tinted glasses.
Molly Hooper is tough as nails. She knows who she is, she knows her own value, and she doesn’t need Sherlock Holmes to make that part of her life any better. She knows how to be Sherlock’s friend and valued confidante, and knowing her makes Sherlock a better person.
She also has a soft heart that loves Sherlock, despite her attempts to let him go. The fact that by the end of S3, we see a woman who totally accepts that she’s in love with Sherlock Holmes and at least for right now, that’s not going anywhere… That is so strong. It takes a lot of guts to accept things about yourself that make your life more difficult.
I love Molly Hooper for the grace she shows in dealing with feelings that are inconvenient at times and painful at others. There is nothing weak or pathetic about this.
And I love that in the end, after being so strong and tough, she got to hear him say he loves her. That means so much more when it’s something you’ve accepted will never happen, and I just… my heart melts when I think about how much that meant to Molly.
It is not weak to love someone. Where do we get this ridiculous idea that love is weak? She didn’t put her life on hold for Sherlock. She didn’t let go of things that mattered to her because of Sherlock. She didn’t become a doormat to Sherlock.
All she did was love him. And knowing Sherlock, that takes way more strength than we give her credit for.
deducecanoe:
When you’re older life is easier and more complex at the same time. You have a clearer vision of who you are. You’re more comfortable in your own skin. And you are more comfortable with your own flaws. If you want to stay in love, you are comfortable with the consequences. You love them in any capacity they will let you, because that’s your choice. You stick around because that is your choice. You are confident enough in yourself to live without reciprocation. Life is so much different than your twenties. You make bold choices and you compromise. All in the same day.
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