To only be focusing on Molly in the ILY scene is dismissive to Sherlock

 (Sherlock meta by theleftpill)

Q: One thing keeps bugging me though and I would really like to hear what people think. I've loved Sherlock's and Molly's dynamic since The Reichenbach Fall and I think that for some time she's had a deep appeal for him although he didn't really understand it. Although it was being further explored since TEH I never expected them to become a couple because it's not that kind of show. That is why I was a bit taken aback by the inclusion of the ILY scene and the way it was played.

Anyway, the sheer intensity of the ILY scene for both was so obvious, that even without the second ILY it seemes clear that the impact on him was just as strong, and even much stronger on some levels and that he's gone through something quite big and it's defenitely not just pity for her.

That's why it really confuses me that most of the press that I've read entirely centered on how it was difficult and painful for her, and why would they do that to her again and why not give hera resolution etc. It seems such a reductive reading and it saddens me that the reviews missed the beauty of that scene, because of what  happens to both of them. What happens to him.

It is in this light that I read Moffat's annoyance at everyone focusing on Molly, because what happened to Sherlock in there was also massive, and kind of doesn't get attention despite the marvellous acting. It sort of made me sad and I hope they got other feedback as well that sees so much more than "Poor Molly, he's just wrecked her again"

A: Hello anon! Thanks for your ask - can I just say that I love my anons??? Seriously. Y’all send me the best thoughts and questions and really get me thinking about the show which I am absolutely here for.

1. ILY is almost entirely about Sherlock; its purpose and reason in the story is Sherlock’s progression and growth, and any romance really is secondary. 
2. Even though ILY is really Sherlock’s Big Moment, people want to know all about Molly because she’s a great character and we just didn’t get enough of her. 

You’ve got two different topics going on here:

First is Sherlock (first is always Sherlock), and the idea that "I Love You" was a more important scene for him than for Molly. First let’s acknowledge that the show is about him so that’s going to be the focus always, and move on to more fun analysis.

I think “I Love You” was definitely more powerful and destructive for him than it was for Molly. Molly has been present and wrestling with these feelings for years. Literally. She has had time to process and consider and work things through. She’s already done the work. So while the moment was intensely difficult for her, she has a groundwork to support her.

Sherlock was hit like a freight train. He started the game knowing how difficult this would be for her; I don’t think he had any idea what it was going to do to him. You’re completely right that he didn’t understand what he feels for Molly. He has spent those same years denying, suppressing, not even being aware of his feelings for her. Think of all the times she has confronted him, think about the looks on his face:

He is always surprised. He is always surprised. Sherlock is always surprised by her reactions to him, and how they make him feel. He doesn’t know that those feelings are there, and it always throws him off. He hasn’t processed who she is to him, and that’s Eurus’ game: to make him confront those feelings. Molly is collateral damage to her - but not to Sherlock, as he’s realized for the first time.

Which is why we have the explosive scene with Sherlock destroying the coffin. He’s just had a bandaid ripped off that he didn’t even know he had; he’s been manipulated, exposed, just had to devastate one of his dearest friends, and through all that came to a realization he was absolutely not ready for. Shoot the wall, stab the files, karate chop the fridge: that coffin didn’t stand a chance. All those years of suppression and passion finally let go.

The second issue you raise concerns the audience, and our connection to the character of Molly. [...] I think people are focusing on her because she’s become a well-loved character. This was a huge moment for her. I mean it’s clear that the game is all about Sherlock’s progression, and ILY is a showcase scene for him - it’s the climax to act 2 [...] - but we have an emotional investment in Molly by this point of the show. Everyone else in the game so far have just been pawns, disposable physically and narratively - but we want to know what happened to Molly. Because she counts. She’s a dynamic, complex, and entertaining character. She has her own story being told that, while secondary to the narrative, connects very strongly with viewers. Molly is the one missing from the narrative, and we want to know what happened.

And it’s pretty much agreed, that regardless of shipping or romance, Molly was sorely underused in S4. I think it’s a testament to how important her character has become for the audience that people are left wondering how she reacted to the phone call, what her experience was, and how their relationship resolves, rather than “oh that poor sad woman well I guess that’s over ok what’s next?”

[...]

I can see your take on Moffat’s annoyance about the outcry about Molly, that he would have been frustrated about the audience missing the point of his big dramatic scene. But it’s true that something as big as ILY needs a resolution between those two characters, and this is a point where they dropped the ball. My own personal conspiracy is that S4 is two series mashed into one because they figure they won’t get to a S5 any time soon, so they crammed six episodes into three. I firmly believe she figured much more heavily in the story originally, but was sacrificed for time. It would be easy to say “oh they just don’t know what they have in Molly” but I think Mofftiss know exactly how important she is - I mean, they made her that way - but that’s where the TV stuff intrudes in these characters’ lives. There just wasn’t enough time to tell her story. (That’s our job.)

I also don’t believe, and I think you’ll agree with me, that Molly is “wrecked” from ILY. Besides the Happy Shot at the end, Molly has shown way more fortitude in her dealings with Sherlock, both emotional and Sherlockian, that I’m sure she had a good cry and a good rant and gave Sherlock a good piece of her mind when he got home, and I’m sure even without the Happy Shot that she’ll be fine. It’s Sherlock that ended up a mess from ILY.

I hope all this answers your query. I’d also like to hear others’ viewpoints on this - it’s a great question.