Rewatching Sherlolly: The Reichenbach Fall (part 2)

 (Sherlock meta by justanotherfangirls)

I loved this episode so much, but I could never find the words to fully explain myself. The Sherlolly during these next parts have evolved from more than just cute and sweet and something the story could probably survive without, to something so strong it had penetrated the core of Sherlock’s heart, and quite a few viewers’ as well.

Let’s talk about the lab scene. Sherlock is a man claiming to be married to his work, and that is why the lab is his home away from home. It is thus interesting that he regularly keeps Molly there, is perfectly comfortable with and often even requires her presence. He calls her John and was unfazed when she corrects him, because he was as comfortable to her as to John, and John is his bestfriend, roommate, who probably knows his quirks, his toilet habits, how he looks without the suits or the coat or the hat.

Molly proceeds to try speaking to him, but as he is busy with his microscope tries to shut her down. He doesn’t however, drive her away even if he was at the midst of a case. He tells her not to feel the need to make conversation as it’s not really her area. He actually found better words to say to her than to stop disturbing his work. His tone is even kind and gentle and so unlike him. A real effort, remember he is on a case. Molly pushes on, and he gives a gentle warning, saying her name. No rolling of eyes and rapid fire deductions. But Molly has something really important to tell him, something he needed to hear even more than solving the case in front of him.

Molly deducing Sherlock is definitely a direct reference to Sherlock’s initial challenge to Kitty. She surprises him so much he actually gets distracted. He stares at her like he was seeing her for the first time. And he could very well be given that he always pushes any and all emotions aside. This time he couldn’t, he was forced to really look at her, and I could just feel all these emotions come pouring in into him despite himself. His guard was definitely at its lowest with Molly, letting her hear his mental notes and uncertainty, and see him when he’s sad. He had to look strong and in control in front of everyone, even in front of his bestfriend. Molly thinks this is because she doesn’t count, but I think it’s because Sherlock is not as immune as he likes to believe, he is subconsciously aware of her unconditional love and unwavering faith, and based on his succeeding actions had accepted them. He is only now being aware of that. Explains his reaction when Molly tells him she doesn’t count, his surprise when he thanks her and he realizes how much he actually meant it, and his effort to be kind to her to accept her offer of food even with the risk of digestion slowing him down. Long after Molly was gone, he still was processing everything until John had snapped him out of his thoughts and he finally returned to the case.

I loved that Molly’s point was not to ask him why he’s sad, or how she was able to see that, or how she thinks she doesn’t count. She even pushes all these unimportant details out of their conversation. Her point was that she will always be there for him and help him with anything he needed. He can, in every sense of the word, have her. It doesn’t even matter if she or Sherlock could not figure out how she could, because she had laid out everything she had to offer for the man she loved. And Sherlock, bless him, finally sees that.

In his encounter with Kitty, Sherlock realizes something. Moriarty has been sowing doubt in people’s minds, and there’s only one thing he needs to do to complete the game. Somehow his mind goes straight to Molly. And in this moment he decides to consciously accept her help and love and caring, to tell her how much she actually meant to him, which means he had to listen to his emotions for once. It is just so beautiful and moving and the most that we have seen of Sherlock’s heart. Even the most skeptical of viewers can’t not see that he is sincere, when he gave her an out. He isn’t forcing her, blackmailing, or lying to her. He probably figured if she would not help him, at least she knew that she counted and always had. Which makes this my favorite line, if I wasn’t everything you think I am, everything that I think I am, would you still want to help me? He most probably gave her the choice whether he would win or lose, live or die. He who had lived his entire life proving he’s clever and brilliant and had equated it to his worth, and he wanted her to base her choice on whether she’d still love him, willingly help him, even if he thinks he’s now not worth anything. He put her first before himself. And if that’s not love, I don’t know what is.