The Last Goodbye

 (Sherlock Meta by mildredbobbin)

One last post on this and I’ll let it go, because I enjoyed this episode, a lot, there was so much love from Sherlock, so much emotion and turmoil for John, such clever, twisty writing and wonderful canon references. But the goodbye scene for me was the one sticking point.

And I think it’s because this scene, this restrained, intensely controlled, internalised scene comes on the heels of such an overt, magnificent display of love from Sherlock (and John for Mary, standing there allowing himself to be humiliated), and it’s the contrast that is jarring.

It hurts because John doesn’t seem to acknowledge Sherlock’s sacrifice. He can’t even manage a ‘that thing, that you did, that was good’. It bothered me particularly that in order to see their friendship affirmed in this scene I had to interpret, surmise and yes, look at subtext — stuff I’m fine doing to see the homoerotic but not what I want to do for their friendship, the very lynchpin of the whole show.

I rewatched the whole episode last night with Mr Bobbin. Knowing what was going to happen the emotional impact wasn’t as intense as the first time around and in turn that scene didn’t seem so off. Mr Bobbin’s take was that it was totally appropriate, the sort of goodbye men did before going into battle, stiff upper lipped and ‘goodbye old chap’.

John reveals very, very little, but it is there.

This scene does show John’s feelings for Sherlock, and more overtly Sherlock’s in return. It is uniquely them, it is restrained and repressed, and they say ‘I love you’ in the way they always have, with a joke and a smile.

"You know, actually, I can’t think of a single thing to say."

"No, neither can I."

These lines were painful, and it does seem on the surface, that they’re, well, done, there’s nothing to talk about anymore.

But on reflection what this moment reminds me of those painful interactions when you meet with an ex again, not long after the break up, when there’s been so many feelings and there’s so much to say that in the end you don’t say any of it.

On some levels this is a break up, and this is goodbye.

John tells Sherlock, “The game is over.”

Sherlock has finally done his dash, he murdered a man in plain sight and he can’t come back from that. It’s over, their game is finished. Sherlock has to go away and John has to move on, get on with life.

And Sherlock acknowledges that for them, it is, but there’ll be others because the game will go on without them.

John doesn’t know Sherlock will probably die, but he has been told this is the last time he’s going to see Sherlock ever, he asks in his round about way when will I see you again, Sherlock says in essence: never. This is it.

And then Sherlock seems to be about to say something emotional, his words sound practiced as if he’s been planning them, but really an emotional declaration isn’t them, it never has been, and the consequences of making such a declaration now would not benefit John, so instead he makes a joke (trolling us, trolling John) and John laughs the way Sherlock had hoped, had intended. But then they both grow sober.

Sherlock offers his hand, a mirror of their first meeting outside of Baker Street, and at first John stares at in incredulously before he finally takes it.

For me, the decision to pull back on the handshake, to show it from afar made it harder. It was too distant, too separate, but maybe that was the point, their relationship was private and between them and now it’s over. We are witnesses to their farewell but we are not allowed to see their hearts.

And then Sherlock walks away, and we see, in John’s expression that he’s hurt but for so many reasons he can’t and won’t show it.

I think this scene does show John’s emotions, it shows a man trying to hold it in, to say goodbye and not be hurt again, and it’s a bittersweet moment, the end of something important but they can still make each other laugh, and they part with respect and honour, acknowledging their friendship as the important connection it was.  We can see Sherlock’s feelings of course because over the series he’s come to accept his love of John Watson and everything he’s done in this episode has been because of proper selfless love for the man.