The conversation by the stairs

 (Sherlock meta by Ivy Blossom)

Anonymous asked:

Hello Ivy! The conversation that John and Sherlock have by the stairs right before Sherlock gives the interview in The Empty Hearse, I never really understood why John would tell him what he said at the grave... can you help me with that? Also, why do you think Sherlock chose not to tell John how he did it? Was it because at the beginning John tells him he doesn't care about how, but why he did it? These things were never very clear to me, and I feel they might be very important, so it bugs me..

Ivy Blossom:

John struggled a lot with what he said at Sherlock’s grave. Like the speech he gives to Mary in His Last Vow, it feels like a practiced speech. He had to wrap his feelings in some kind of terminology, so “best and wisest man I’ve ever known” and his dearest wish that Sherlock not be dead, is what he chose. I think a lot of that speech at the grave is John trying very hard to not say, “I loved you.” And now I think it kind of means that for him anyway.

At first Sherlock was all keen to tell John all the details of how he survived the fall, but now he knows how painful the whole thing is, and it’s become painful for him too. It’s a sore subject.

Between the beginning of this episode to the end, Sherlock takes a very big emotional hit. He started out thinking he’s indestructible. But John’s rejection does in fact destroy him. He can’t think straight after being rejected by John. The loss hits him very hard.

When John finally asks him that question, they’re in a celebratory moment. The duo is back together. They’re leaving everyone else, including Mary, in the flat and stepping out into the world together, as Holmes and Watson again, jaunty cap in place. Sherlock says he’s indestructible, I think because he wishes he were, and knows now for a fact that he isn’t. As if, were he to jump again, he would surely die.

I think telling Sherlock what he said at the grave is John addressing the spectre of his own emotions. Because that scene means I’m sorry, I love you, I always loved you, come back to me. And as angry as John is about what Sherlock did, Sherlock has done this amazing thing John wished for: he’s come back. As distraught as John was, maybe in this moment, when everyone’s happy and drinking champagne, and the case is solved, and the press want to crowd around and laud Sherlock for another job well done just like old times, maybe John feels like he really did manage to magic Sherlock alive again with the sheer power of loving him so much and wanting it to be so. And Sherlock confirms that fairy tale reading: you did bring me back. I heard you.

It’s a nicer ending, isn’t it?