How Janine and Sherlock started their "relationship"

 (Sherlock Meta by Ivy Blossom)

Anonymous asked:

Hi! Love your thoughtful meta. One topic I haven't seen addressed much is Janine's relationship with Sherlock during their month's "relationship." Given that the FIRST thing we learn about her is that she's openly sexual and willing - what would compel her to stay with Sherlock when clearly she wasn't getting what she defines as "sex". Wouldn't they have had that awkward convo earlier? And I think there's a chance Sherlock couldn't perform even if he wanted, if he's truly gay and not bi.

Ivy Blossom:

Oh I’m 100% sure they had that conversation. In fact I bet it was the first conversation they had, or one of the first. Picture it: girl meets lonely, sad gay boy at a wedding. She is single, she digs him, but he’s obviously gay. After the wedding he calls her. Can they meet up? He wants to talk.

He explains that he’s never been in a relationship before. There’s something special about her. He feels really connected to her, like she really gets him and still likes him. Most people hate him instantly when they see how he is, how his brain works, how blunt and frankly rude he is, but she seems to really like the things about him that other people hate. And he’s really surprised by that. It’s a new experience for him and he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about it. He doesn’t want it to stop.

He tells her that he’s very lonely, and that he always has been, but only recently realized it. Because of her. Because she was there, and then she wasn’t. And he felt her absence, and it hurt.

He’s got a lot of issues, you know, with intimacy. It’s not just the childhood bullying, but that’s a lot of it. He’s different, he’s not like other boys, and he has a very low self-esteem, for one. He doesn’t think he’s a loveable person. He never expected to find anyone who would be able to like him as he actually is. He’s still struggling to believe it’s possible. And he will continue to struggle to believe it, even if she tries to show him she really does like him. Sometimes he’ll think she’s just misunderstood, and at some point she’ll see the real him and she’ll leave him. As he says: he has intimacy issues.

Oh yes, he’d like to have a physical relationship. With her. He’d love to! But he’s very nervous about it, he’s scared of it, it will take time. He’s not sure what he’s doing in that department, or what he wants, or likes, it’s a big mess. He’s ignored that part of himself for so long, he feels like it’s a foreign country. It will take time for him to feel entirely comfortable. Lots of time. Is that okay? He wants to do this, but he wants to do it right. He’s afraid, if they move too fast, that he’ll shut down and lash out at her and destroy everything. Will she take it slowly with him? Not put any pressure on him? He knows it’s weird, he’s sorry, but he’s doing his best. He is, actually, quite desperate for physical affection. He loves it when she touches him. He loves feeling like someone she would want to touch.

He wouldn’t even consider this with anyone but her. She’s the first person who made him think about it at all. She gets him. She knows what he’s like.

So, does she want to give it a shot? Would she try? He’ll do his best to be good to her.

What I love best about this is that it’s all true. It’s just that it’s about John, not Janine.