Sherlock's and John's love in S1 and S2 

 (Sherlock Meta by sherli-holmes and sherlockcharacteranalysis)

sherli-holmes:

“I imagine John Watson thinks love’s a mystery to me, but the chemistry is incredibly simple and very destructive”

I always wanted to know the canon behind that line: Sherlock says it to Irene, with Mycroft in the room. And you wonder: Mycroft’s the one who accused him of knowing nothing of sex: wouldn’t it make more sense to direct that comment at him? But Sherlock doesn’t say “I imagine my brother thinks love’s a mystery to me.”

He says John Watson. As if there’s a need to clarify that. Moreover, he says John Watson to the woman who told John that he was in a relationship with Sherlock Holmes.

My headcanon: John’s the one in love. And Sherlock’s deduced that after listening in on John and Irene’s meeting.  But, for some reason, John never says anything. And Sherlock assumes it’s because he doesn’t want it known or doesn’t want a relationship and so he’s a bit resentful of sentiment overall that evening.

sherlockcharacteranalysis:

Interesting. Steven Moffat also thinks it’s John who’s in love with Sherlock.

(Btw, just in case I need to clarify, you can be in love with all sorts of things…a subject, a piece of art, a show *cough cough cough*, even your friends as friends.)

Their relationship is definitely complicated, like any friendship that’s actually based on love and not companionship. I think in a lot of ways, it’s actually much harder to have an emotionally intense friendship in our society than it was in the Victorian era, especially between two men. People automatically assume that it’s romantic/sexual, as we see in the show.

I actually think they’re both in love with each other, but Sherlock is the one who is more aware of it. Sherlock has a weakness for people who admires his intelligence, who seem to like him for him. (Well, given how lonely he must be, this is not surprising.) He admires John as well, so he gets attached to him really quickly. He basically spends almost all of A Study in Pink trying to impress John; it’s Sherlock who takes most of the initiative early on in their friendship. However, I think John’s behavior in The Blind Banker made him insecure/defensive so he pulls away a bit until the pool scene at The Great Game, when he’s slapped in the face with both how much John means to him, but also how much he means to John. (It’s funny that on John’s blog he credits Sherlock’s “humanization” to Irene Adler (it’s near the end), when I think it’s much more likely to be John’s influence.)

As for Sherlock’s last speech to Irene, I actually think what he means is that he knows John Watson thinks Sherlock doesn’t understand love, and therefore didn’t know that he was falling for Irene. But Sherlock did know, even if he couldn’t seem to control it, and it did prove to be very destructive to him. And yes, perhaps part of it is also frustration that John doesn’t seem to realize that Sherlock knows that John loves him, and also loves John in return. There is nothing conventional about Sherlock, and so many of things he does to express his love is imperceptible to John (though the two of them seem to be learning a bit of compromise in that area).

The thing about John is that, even though he’s definitely not “ordinary” or “normal,” he is still overall a much more conventional person than Sherlock. Unless he has a reason to question what he thinks he knows, he doesn’t. (Whereas Sherlock won’t accept anything without adequate proof/reasoning.) And for awhile John is able to fit Sherlock into pre-existing categories: friend, flatmate, leader, and someone he owes his life to. So he’s fascinated by Sherlock; why shouldn’t he be? The man’s bloody fascinating! So he does all sorts of things for Sherlock that he wouldn’t do for an ordinary friend or flatmate. Well, but Sherlock isn’t ordinary, and John likes to help people. Plus, he owes the man his life; buying groceries (and letting Sherlock use his computer, and fetching Sherlock whatever he wants) isn’t really too much to ask. Sherlock’s kind of like John’s leader too, and orders are orders.

In the meantime, John’s still out looking for a girlfriend because that’s just what a straight man with needs does, and nothing has happened that tells John that maybe he doesn’t want a girlfriend in the same way he used to anymore. Well until all of his girlfriends breakup with him because of Sherlock, and Irene Adler shows up to make him jealous.

In the warehouse, when John tells Irene that he’s not gay, and Irene says “well I am. And look at us both,” John doesn’t respond. I’d like to think that what Irene is trying to tell him is that sexuality is separate from love, that he can be straight and still be in love with Sherlock. As he evidently is. I think John maybe starts to actually try to figure out what his relationship with Sherlock entails after that moment. We see that John doesn’t really try to refute the inn owner’s assumptions about him and Sherlock in Hounds the way he used to. Part of it could be that he’s tired of it, but part of it could be that even though he’s still not gay, he can see that there is something between him and Sherlock that’s way beyond friendship as well.

It’ll be interesting to see how their friendship goes in season 3, especially if they bring on Mary Morstan. I think both Sherlock and John realize that they’re the most important person in each other’s lives and want it to stay that way (especially Sherlock), but Sherlock is not used to being emotionally vulnerable and John doesn’t quite know how to reconcile Sherlock with the other more conventional things that he also wants. (Or at least thinks he wants.) Back in the Victorian era, it was quite common for both men and women to have just as strong if not stronger emotional bonds with one’s same-sex friends than with one’s spouse, but in our days your spouse/romantic partner is supposed to be your best friend/most important person. So in a lot of ways, how their friendship will progress depends a great deal on John, as he is the one who is both more attached to conventionality and has greater romantic/sexual needs that Sherlock can’t/won’t fulfill.