Notes On Sherlock and Mycroft: Your loss would break my heart. 

 (Sherlock Meta by stephisanerd)

(Note: Spoilers for all of Series 3. This is a really long analysis–including admittedly copious quotes, it’s nearly 3,000 words. There are several thoughts that made it in, mostly contrasting John and Mycroft that aren’t really expanded on but I’m going to do it elsewhere, because this is reaching such an obscene length.)

The relationship between Sherlock and Mycroft has always been a little tense and snarky, and before this series, it was generally impossible to tell who was getting the best of who, when. You were never quite sure who was outwitting who, or even really, how much emotion was hiding beneath their interactions. It was often-times the comic relief, and we never had quite enough context to judge what was really going on. But then we got series three, and it not only provides the needed context and a completely different perspective of their interactions, it recolors all of their earlier interactions and makes you look at them in a different light.

For example, take this interaction from The Great Game:

SHERLOCK: How’s Sarah, John? How was the lilo?
MYCROFT: Sofa, Sherlock. It was the sofa.
SHERLOCK: Oh yes, of course.
JOHN: How …? Oh, never mind.

In the larger scene Mycroft is in 221B, attempting to get Sherlock to take a case. Sherlock is resistant, mostly to spite him, and on first watch, it plays as simple sibling rivalry. Sherlock doesn’t want to take the case to spite Mycroft, and there’s no mention of the fact that Mycroft has come by shortly after news broke that a group of flats opposite his on Baker Street had blown up.

In the context of this scene from The Empty Hearse, the thing reads a little differently.

MYCROFT: Don’t be smart.
SHERLOCK: That takes me back. “Don’t be smart, Sherlock. I’m the smart one.”
MYCROFT: I am the smart one.
SHERLOCK: I used to think I was an idiot. …
....
SHERLOCK: I’m just passing the time. Let’s do deductions.
SHERLOCK: Client left this while I was out. What d’you reckon?
MYCROFT: I’m busy.
SHERLOCK: Oh, go on. It’s been an age.
MYCROFT: I always win.
SHERLOCK: Which is why you can’t resist.

This gives their earlier interaction, one that originally just seemed to be simple bickering, more weight. Mycroft has out-deduced Sherlock, and again Sherlock is second best. As he always is. Series three draws into sharp focus the idea that Sherlock sees himself as inferior to his more powerful and smarter older brother. But notice, for all that Mycroft can deduce about the hat in The Empty Hearse, he misses the human element—he misses the possible isolation, something that Sherlock, notices immediately.

SHERLOCK: But you’ve missed his isolation.
MYCROFT: I don’t see it.
SHERLOCK: Plain as day.
MYCROFT: Where?
SHERLOCK: There for all to see.
…
SHERLOCK: Well, anybody who wears a hat as stupid as this isn’t in the habit of hanging around other people, is he?
MYCROFT: Not at all. Maybe he just doesn’t mind being different. He doesn’t necessarily have to be isolated.
SHERLOCK: Exactly.

MYCROFT: I’m sorry?
SHERLOCK: He’s different – so what? Why would he mind? You’re quite right. Why would anyone mind?
MYCROFT: … I’m not lonely, Sherlock.
SHERLOCK: How would you know?

But they’re speaking two different languages here- both seeing and not observing, neither hearing what the other is saying, and it continues to happen all series long. Maybe if they could have bridged that gap, it all could have ended differently. By the end of His Last Vow we, as the audience, are aware of two things–first, that Mycroft deeply cares for his younger brother, and wants to protect him and second, that Sherlock sees himself as lesser than his older brother, a disappointment to the man that he still very much wants to impress. Neither one of them understands how the other views him, and it is one of the smaller, understated everyday tragedies of a very human Sherlock Holmes.

MYCROFT: Anyway, you’re safe now.
SHERLOCK: Hmm.
MYCROFT: A small ‘thank you’ wouldn’t go amiss.
SHERLOCK: What for?
MYCROFT: For wading in. In case you’d forgotten, fieldwork is not my natural milieu.
SHERLOCK: “Wading in”? You sat there and watched me being beaten to a pulp.
MYCROFT: I got you out.
SHERLOCK: No –I got me out. Why didn’t you intervene sooner?
MYCROFT: Well, I couldn’t risk giving myself away, could I? It would have ruined everything.
SHERLOCK: You were enjoying it.
MYCROFT: Nonsense.

Notice here—though Mycroft is being a touch condescending, he really is relieved that Sherlock is safe now. Sherlock interprets the thing differently and immediately berates Mycroft for not wading in faster, believing that Mycroft was enjoying watching him get tortured. Mycroft can’t express his concern and relief in a way that Sherlock can understand. Sherlock is caught up in the idea that Mycroft had to rescue him (I got me out!) Different languages.

MRS HUDSON: Oh, isn’t it wonderful, Mr. Holmes?
MYCROFT: I can barely contain myself.
SHERLOCK: Oh, he really can, you know.
MRS HUDSON: He’s secretly pleased to see you underneath all that…
MYCROFT: Sorry – which of us?
MRS HUDSON: Both of you.

Mrs. Hudson is right, of course. But neither of them see it or comment on it.

By the beginning of His Last Vow, the gulf between their perspectives becomes even more clear. After Sherlock tests positive for drugs, he gets to 221B to discover that Mycroft is there, waiting.

MYCROFT: Well, then, Sherlock. Back on the sauce?
SHERLOCK: What are you doing here?
JOHN: I phoned him.
MYCROFT: The siren call of old habits. How very like Uncle Rudy – though, in many ways, cross-dressing would have been a wiser path for you.
SHERLOCK: You phoned him.
JOHN:’Course I bloody phoned him.
MYCROFT:’Course he bloody did. Now, save me a little time. Where should we be looking?
SHERLOCK: “We”?
ANDERSON’s VOICE (from upstairs): Mr. Holmes?
SHERLOCK (furiously): For God’s sake!
 …
MYCROFT: What have you found so far? Clearly nothing.
SHERLOCK: There’s nothing to find.
MYCROFT: Your bedroom door is shut. You haven’t been home all night. So, why would a man who has never knowingly closed the door without the direct orders of his mother bother to do so on this occasion?
SHERLOCK: Okay, stop! Just stop. Point made.
JOHN: Jesus, Sherlock.
MYCROFT: Have to phone our parents, of course, in Oklahoma. Won’t be the first time that your substance abuse has wreaked havoc with their line-dancing.

We find out that what Sherlock had in his bedroom wasn’t really drugs, and we also recognize eventually that Sherlock’s behavior is at least partially explained by his attempts to convince Magnussen that he has a drug habit (A fact that Mycroft reacts to with some alarm.) However, this scene plays out entirely from Sherlock’s perspective—he’s frustrated, angry, and defensive. He reacts badly to the intervention, in a way that is very true to real life, as anyone who has been confronted by concerned friends and family about self-destructive behavior could tell you.* He sees the disappointment, the anger, the frustrated ‘oh-here-we-go-again-with-you-fucking-up’, but he misses the concern that is beneath it all. Compare the above scene to the one from A Scandal in Belgravia below from John’s perspective.

MYCROFT: He’s on his way. Have you found anything?
JOHN: No. Did he take the cigarette?
MYCROFT: Yes.
JOHN: Shit. He’s coming. Ten minutes.
MRS HUDSON: There’s nothing in the bedroom.
JOHN: Looks like he’s clean. We’ve tried all the usual places. Are you sure tonight’s a danger night?
MYCROFT: No, but then I never am. You have to stay with him, John.
JOHN: I’ve got plans.
MYCROFT: No.

We see the deep concern that both Mycroft and John have over even the possibility that Sherlock may be in danger of using again, something they want to prevent. But Sherlock misses it there, as he does in His Last Vow. Magnussen, when he reveals to Sherlock that he is Mycroft’s pressure point puts it like this “Mycroft’s pressure point is his junkie detective brother, Sherlock.” He reinforces the idea to Sherlock that Mycroft sees him as a junkie, his screw-up younger brother, and again, though we know differently, Sherlock does not. 

But it’s not just Sherlock that’s missing something obvious here. Mycroft, with his tendency to miss human emotions, either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care how Sherlock believes Mycroft views him.

During The Sign of Three, when Sherlock is attempting to figure out who the murderer present at the wedding is, we get a different look at his mind palace than we have before, and it is clear that Mycroft—his smarter older brother, the voice of reason and intelligence that Sherlock holds so dear, looms large. He literally hold court in Sherlock’s head, helping him reason out the correct answer.

MYCROFT (disapprovingly, offscreen): Oh, Sherlock.
MYCROFT: What do we say about coincidence?
SHERLOCK: The universe is rarely so lazy.
MYCROFT: So, the balance of probability is …?
SHERLOCK: Someone went to great lengths to find out something about this wedding.
MYCROFT: What great lengths?

But it’s not the solution that Sherlock wants or needs. In the end, Sherlock chooses the human connection—saving the life. Mycroft has always encouraged him to stay unattached and uninvolved, and even mocks him for his clear involvement when Sherlock calls him at the reception. Sherlock chooses John over Mycroft here, in what could be an interesting bit of foreshadowing of His Last Vow. 

Aside from being a figure that Sherlock looks up to, it’s also clear that also Mycroft acts in a different capacity in Sherlock’s mind. After Sherlock has been shot, and he is trying to reason out how to save his own life, the following scene plays out in Sherlock’s mind-palace.

MYCROFT (offscreen): Oh, for God’s sake, Sherlock.
MYCROFT: It doesn’t matter about the gun. Don’t be stupid.
MYCROFT: You always were so stupid. (Sherlock continues towards him, but now he’s a young boy – about eleven years old – and wearing dark trousers and a shirt with a buttoned dark green cardigan over it. He walks slowly towards his big brother.) 
MYCROFT: Such a disappointment.
YOUNG SHERLOCK (angrily): I’m not stupid.
MYCROFT (sternly): You’re a very stupid little boy. (He stands up and walks around the table.) 
MYCROFT: Mummy and Daddy are very cross … (He reaches the other side of the table and leans against it.) 
MYCROFT: … because it doesn’t matter about the gun.

In his own head, Sherlock is a small child that his adult brother is berating for being a disappointment. It works—Sherlock does come to the correct solution—the mirror behind him didn’t shatter, so the bullet is still inside of him, but one can’t help but wonder how often Sherlock feels like this when interacting with Mycroft. How many of their interactions over the course of the series have played out like this in Sherlock’s head? How often does Sherlock feel like he is simply a disappointment to his brother?**

As the plot of His Last Vow moves forward, Sherlock continues working his scheme to get the best of Magnussen. As the plan is set in motion, though the audience doesn’t quite know what it is yet, this exchange happens:

MYCROFT: I have, by the way, a job offer I should like you to decline.
SHERLOCK: I decline your kind offer.
MYCROFT: I shall pass on your regrets.
SHERLOCK: What was it?
MYCROFT: MI6 – they want to place you back into Eastern Europe. An undercover assignment that would prove fatal to you in, I think, about six months.
SHERLOCK: Then why don’t you want me to take it?
MYCROFT: It’s tempting … but on balance you have more utility closer to home.
SHERLOCK: Utility! How do I have utility?
MYCROFT: “Here be dragons.”
…
 MYCROFT (without turning around): Also, your loss would break my heart.
SHERLOCK: What the hell am I supposed to say to that?!
MYCROFT: “Merry Christmas”?
SHERLOCK: You hate Christmas.
MYCROFT (pretending to look puzzled): Yes. Perhaps there was something in the punch.
SHERLOCK: Clearly. Go and have some more.

Sherlock accepts that Mycroft wants him here because he’s useful, albeit maybe slightly bitterly, but he doesn’t have any idea what to say to the implication that he means something to Mycroft beyond his ability to do legwork as Mycroft so often calls it. Sherlock often underestimates how much he means to those around him, and he does so here, again.*** Mycroft doesn’t spell it out for him, and lets it drop.

The audience finds out pretty soon after that there is, in fact, something in the punch, as Sherlock needs to knock everyone out in order to put his plan in motion—he’s taking Mycroft’s laptop in an effort to trade it for all of the information Magnussen has on Mary. And Mycroft appears to be completely aware that it’s going to happen. I agree completely with the interpretation of the scene found here (X)–Mycroft isn’t ignorant of the fact that Sherlock has drugged the punch—Mycroft could probably deduce why Billy was there in an instant. He’s letting him do it, and Sherlock is telling him here that he has a plan, that there’s an end-game. So Mycroft doesn’t stop him, and Sherlock takes the laptop.

And then the plan falls apart.

SHERLOCK: Oh, I think you’ll find the contents of that laptop…
MAGNUSSEN: … include a GPS locator. By now, your brother will have noticed the theft, and security services will be converging on this house. Having arrived they’ll find top secret information in my hands and have every justification to search my vaults. They will discover further information of this kind and I’ll be imprisoned.You will be exonerated, and restored to your smelly little apartment to solve crimes with Mr. and Mrs. Psychopath. Mycroft has been looking for this opportunity for a long time. He’ll be a very, very proud big brother. 

We find out that Sherlock has grossly underestimated Magnussen, and that the vaults were only ever in his head. Mycroft isn’t going to be a proud big brother, after all. He’s going to be very, very disappointed. He’s going to have a huge mess to clean up. But note this, it would have been salvageable, at least as far as John and Sherlock’s immediate futures. The whole 'trying to sell state secrets’ thing would have blown over. It wouldn’t have stopped Magnussen from going after Mary, John Sherlock, and Mycroft though, and so, as the plan comes crashing down around Sherlock’s head, he makes his choice. He kills Magnussen, to save John. He does everything Mycroft has always warned him against—he’s emotional, involved, and his actions are not logical or reasonable.**** He throws the gun down, and raises his hands and falls to his knees in front of the helicopter, (much like he ended up on his knees in The Empty Hearse, begging forgiveness from John) Who knows what the hell he’s thinking in that moment, but he has to be painfully aware of how bad he’s messed it all up for Mycroft. He’s the junkie detective younger brother who wasn’t smart enough to figure it out, who was too involved and missed the obvious. He has gone too far, and made an irrevocable choice, one that cannot be fixed or swept under the rug. I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that in that moment, he believes himself to be unworthy, and a deep disappointment.

But as the camera changes, we begin to recognize that’s not how Mycroft sees it. Mycroft frantically tells his men not to fire at Sherlock, and then removes his headset, before quietly whispering “Oh, Sherlock, what have you done?” For once, he doesn’t sound condescending or even disappointed. He’s devastated. “Can’t handle a broken heart, how very telling.” “Your loss would break my heart.” The camera angle changes again, and Mycroft is staring down, not at his adult brother, but the childhood version, who is standing there, hands raised and tears streaming down his cheeks, terrified. This is what he sees, probably what he always sees, and Sherlock has no idea.

There is no stopping the fallout. Mycroft arranges to send Sherlock off on a suicide mission to Eastern Europe, and Sherlock prepares to go, accepting it as his due.

SHERLOCK: The game is never over, John but there may be some new players now. It’s okay. The East Wind takes us all in the end.
JOHN: What’s that?
SHERLOCK: It’s a story my brother told me when we were kids. The East Wind – this terrifying force that lays waste to all in its path.
SHERLOCK: It seeks out the unworthy and plucks them from the Earth. That was generally me.
JOHN: Nice.
SHERLOCK: He was a rubbish big brother.

While doubling as a neat canon reference, it’s also a callback to something that Mycroft said in Sherlock’s mind-palace earlier in the episode when he was dying. “The East Wind is coming, Sherlock. It’s coming to get you.” Is Sherlock really joking as much as he appears to be, or does he really believe himself to be unworthy? I’d be willing to argue that he, at least, believes that Mycroft sees him as unworthy.

Notice, from his perspective, he sees his older brother sending him to a death that he believes is his due. He still doesn’t see the rest of it—your loss would break my heart. Oh Sherlock, what have you done? 

And Mycroft, cold and logical, misses what he has missed all along—that Sherlock is desperate to please him, that he believes himself to be a disappointment. He doesn’t allow him to be emotional about what has happened—I’m not given to outburst of brotherly compassion, he comments. He coldly refers to his brother as a murderer. He does not offer understanding or forgiveness.

And like it does in so many other places in this episode, in the end, all the things that really matter are left unsaid. Sherlock boards the plane and flies away. And then—there’s a video, a voice, an emergency and a phone call. Sherlock suddenly has utility. Here be dragons. It’s not much, it’s not enough, but it’s a chance.

—

Note: All quotes taken from here, with thanks.

*A fact that convinces me that for all that Sherlock was doing this for a case, there was at least an element of self-destruction here, deliberate or otherwise. Also, having had friends stage interventions about my occasionally poor mental-health, I can tell you that this scene was PAINFUL to watch in it’s accuracy. The perceived disappointment, the anger, the lashing out. It’s clear watching it that this isn’t the first time Mycroft and Sherlock have had this particular confrontation.

**I’m not including it, because this is more than long enough and there are about 50,000 other things from that scene that I’d want to touch on, and really it just needs its own post, but go watch the climax of A Scandal in Belgravia again. Ouch.

***Yeah, that also needs to be a separate post—but as an example, Sherlock obviously underestimates what he means to John, but John eventually spells it all out for Sherlock in a way that Mycroft doesn’t here.

****I’m pretty sure that Mycroft would never consider any sort of self-sacrifice to be logical or reasonable.