Is Sherlock going to have to do a real apology to John at some point?

 (Sherlock meta by Ivy Blossom) 

Q; Sherlock is going to have to do a real apology to John at some point. Tears, begging, the whole nine yards. John’s heart broke when Sherlock jumped. John knew Sherlock could not be trusted with his heart again after that kind of betrayal.

A: Interesting. I think I disagree with you here. I think Sherlock already got his apology on the train in The Empty Hearse, and I think it was legit. John does forgive him. I think John even trusts him again.

I don’t think it’s decision, it’s just how he’s built. John has trust issues he struggles to overcome with everyone else, but he default trusts Sherlock from the moment they meet. I don’t think it’s a choice, I think it’s a compulsion. I think he trusts Sherlock even when he doesn’t want to. Even when he knows he shouldn’t. He trusts Sherlock again way too fast in series 3, not because Sherlock has earned it, but because John can’t help it.

When he discovers that Mary’s being lying to him, it’s Sherlock he feels safe with. Sherlock says, “bring your gun to my parents house for Christmas dinner,” and John is like, “What? That’s CRAZY!” but he does it anyway. For all his caution and cynicism, John trusts in Sherlock the way other people trust in gravity. But after the Magnussen incident John has every reason in the world to trust Sherlock; he knows Sherlock sacrificed his great self and everything he could have done in his life for John and his family, which I’m sure John can’t begin to fathom.

No, I don’t think there will be any more apologies. They’re not necessary. But there is no apology that can remove the consequences of Sherlock’s behaviour. My fear is that the real consequence of Sherlock’s behaviour is this: he will make the very logical deduction that he was right in the first place; emotions cloud his judgement and prevent him from doing good work. And he wouldn’t be wrong. Being in love with John is a problem for Sherlock. It makes him sloppy and it blinds him to the obvious. He makes bad choices because of it. So maybe he needs to stare those feelings in the face, acknowledge them, and swallow them. And never let them interfere with his head ever, ever again. He’s wise enough now to really understand the danger, and not just in the abstract. He might look at John and think, yes, I love you, I’m in love with you, I always will be, but that isn’t the life I’m going to get to have. It’s too dangerous, and it’s too complicated, and I’m married to my work. So I need to be satisfied with the fact that I love you, and you love me, but we’re never going to do this. Because I can’t, and because I choose to solve crimes instead. 

It would be horrible. But it the wistful and melancholy understanding it would give him would certainly make him a better detective.