His Last vow reaction

 (Sherlock Meta by earlgreytea68)

PLEASE BE WARNED: I DID NOT LIKE MANY THINGS ABOUT THIS EPISODE AND I ESPECIALLY DON’T LIKE MARY AND THE BELOW IS A LOT OF VENTING SO PLEASE DON’T READ IF YOU ARE LIKELY TO BE OFFENDED. WE CAN ALL HAVE DIFFERENT OPINIONS, I PROMISE. :-)

So, this episode had its strong bits. One of the best was that I didn’t have much of an idea what was going to happen in it. I mean, I know the Charles Augustus Milverton story, and I thought it was brilliantly re-imagined, but after the whole “drugging at Christmas” thing I was like, “…Okay, where the hell is this episode going? How did Mary get to be so hugely pregnant? How do we only have ten minutes left? Where is my big cliffhanger?” Because that…wasn’t a cliffhanger to me. That was, like, the least emotional, petering-out ending to an otherwise extraordinarily strong season (and even, possibly, a mostly good episode, once I get through processing how much I haaaaated the ending). Here is what I liked about the episode:

* The re-working of Holmes’s courtship of the girl. I’d actually forgotten that was part of this story and I thought they did it really well. It was someone I liked, and Sherlock handled it poorly, and that, I thought, was very well done. I liked that he never actually slept with her, since that would have crossed a line (at least, that’s how I read their conversation in the hospital). And I liked that she was like, “You could have just been honest with me.” Because it’s a problem for Sherlock that he always goes the complicated route and doesn’t actually ever believe that he can get things by being straightforward with people (see, e.g, the train scene at the end of The Empty Hearse).

* I actually kind of loved the mind palace intercutting of the gunshot scene. I thought that was a brilliant dramatization of the breakdown of Sherlock’s mind as the bullet started to interfere with regular processes. Like, *really* well done, and very tense, and very clever, and Benedict rocked it.

*John at the beginning was very hot. I also liked his hair in the scene where it’s revealed he’s been listening to Mary, not Sherlock.

* I liked the smoking scene with Mycroft. Actually, I kind of loved it. In fact, I think that was the last part before the episode fell completely to pieces for me.

* I liked the little Mystrade bone they threw us there. That amused me. And actually felt like the kind of thing this show does and does well. I’d gotten used to it being very good at leaving things open-ended that needed to be open-ended, of leaving all of us a little bit of room to breathe and interpret and make this show what we need it to be—*whatever* we need it to be. And I adore Moffat, I have always been his biggest supporter when people complain about him, I have always held faith in him, but this episode just felt *rude* to me. (Although I suppose I can’t blame him entirely — it was well-written dialogue-wise and, again, the mind palace scene was unbearably clever, and the villain was actually creepier than Moriarty to me and super-well-done, and my main problem with this episode was presumably something all three of them discussed and decided to do together, so I am frowning at all of them collectively.)

* Sherlock. Absolutely. Rocked. In. This. Episode. Like, this was Sherlock’s season, all of it, and I’m glad that he was awesome throughout, completely the character I thought I knew and loved and went into this season with. I am very happy to have him intact, I seriously am, and I shall keep him in my pocket and keep him happy because APPARENTLY I CAN NO LONGER TRUST JOHN WATSON TO DO IT.

Which brings me to what I disliked about this episode:

* What the hell happened to John Watson in this episode? I mean, where *was* he? I’d seen other people complaining in the previous episodes that Sherlock came back more open-hearted and affectionate and John seemed to regress away from him but I thought, you know, he was angry at Sherlock to start and then he was preoccupied by other things after that. But he seemed genuinely warm and fond during the wedding. He *hugged* him. And then…

* And then we get John Watson, after a bit of time has passed, not having spoken to Sherlock in about a month. A *month,* you guys. These are men who not only lived together but they basically planned a wedding *together.* John had *promised* Sherlock that nothing would change after the wedding. He’d promised and promised and promised, again and again and again, and then right away he broke that promise. And yeah, maybe Sherlock could have kept in touch, but he was never going to, right, because HE’S SHERLOCK HOLMES and also HE DIDN’T WANT TO BE A THIRD WHEEL. HE BASICALLY TOLD YOU AS MUCH AT THE END OF YOUR WEDDING. WHERE DID YOU GO, JOHN WATSON, THAT YOU MISSED ENTIRELY THAT YOU DID EXACTLY WHAT YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDN’T AND YOU ABANDONED SHERLOCK HOLMES? WHERE IS YOUR LOYALTY, JOHN WATSON? YOU WERE LOYAL TO HIM FROM THE MOMENT YOU MET HIM, AND THEN YOU DID THIS?

* And this, I remind you, was, like, the first ten minutes of the episode, and I was already like, “What the hell, John? I mean, this whole scene is hot but I’m sorry that I think you don’t get to yell at Sherlock for not calling you because he was going to fall off the wagon because YOU DIDN’T ACTUALLY GIVE HIM A REASON TO THINK YOU STILL CARED.”

* Okay, moving on from that, here is what happens: JOHN WATSON’S WIFE SHOOTS JOHN WATSON’S BEST FRIEND. Sure, afterward Sherlock claims that she saved his life but not shooting him in the head and by also calling the ambulance right away. But you know what? SHERLOCK ACTUALLY DIED. He comes back because his inner Moriarty happens to mention John Watson and wow, Mary Morstan Watson, way to be merciful to your husband’s BEST FRIEND by hoping that he would be strong enough to survive a bullet wound that ACTUALLY DID LITERALLY KILL HIM.

* So then, then, then we don’t really get any emotion out of John over the fact that his theoretical once and future best friend LITERALLY DIES. But whatever, I get it, John doesn’t do emotion. But he NEVER DOES EMOTION over Sherlock in this episode. Oh, yes, he’s very upset at Mary. He’s upset that Mary lied to him. And every once in a while he seems to remember that she also shot his best friend. “Don’t worry about it,” Sherlock says. “All’s well that ends well.” As he collapses on the floor from internal bleeding FROM THE BULLET JOHN’S WIFE PUT INTO HIM. JOHN WATSON, HAVE A NORMAL, HUMAN-BEING REACTION HERE AND BE A LITTLE ANGRY.

* So yes, apparently John *is* angry at Mary, not that we ever get to see it. And I see now why Mary had to be pregnant because otherwise there would have been no reason for John to ever even try to forgive her, but whatever, then they reunite because John remembers, I don’t know, I guess that he loves her? Or the person he thinks she is? Or… I actually don’t know why they reunite, because this episode doesn’t actually tell us what is going on in John’s head ever. Which maybe was meant to put us in Sherlock’s shoes and be in love with this terrible enigma? I don’t know. But, anyway, he forgives her and they reunite and everything is rainbows and kittens for a few minutes for John Watson.

* And then the ending of the episode begins, which was the point at which I looked at the timestamp on the episode and was like, “…What the hell is going to happen in the rest of this episode?” (And also, “Ugh, why is Mary still in this show right now?” Because she lost me as soon as she put a bullet in my Sherlock, I don’t care if he thinks it was merciful, SHERLOCK IS NOT RIGHT IN THE HEAD AND WE KNOW THAT AND JOHN IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONE WITH THE STRONG MORAL COMPASS, REMEMBER WHEN THAT WAS TRUE?) So, they go to Magnusson’s house, which is a disaster. And what do they find out at Magnusson’s house? Magnusson wanted Mycroft, so he needed to get to Sherlock, which meant he needed to get to John, which meant he needed to get to John’s wife. So what we found out was: MARY WATSON AND HER STUPID SECRETS WERE BASICALLY BEING USED TO DESTROY EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER I CARE ABOUT ON THIS SHOW. Sorry, Mary, but you’re brand new, and you were super-cute last episode, but you’re the one I want gone at this point. Like, I’m not sure why they think my loyalty is already on Mary’s side? (Maybe yours already was and I’m just bad at that? I don’t know. But she *shot* my *Sherlock.*)

* So instead of apparently going to his brother and telling him, “Hey, I know you think you’re in league with this Magnusson guy, but actually, I just made a deal with him and let’s set him up,” (which I actually thought was going to happen?) instead there’s this weird plot point where Magnusson is going to get Sherlock for selling state secrets? I didn’t even understand why Sherlock was worried that might happen, but I guess it’s because he is no longer on good terms with his brother, which I guess is because Mycroft mentioned Redbeard last episode? Because up until then Mycroft and Sherlock TOOK MORIARTY DOWN TOGETHER and then were all buddy-buddy in TEH and then suddenly apparently Sherlock got himself into such a mess that not even Mycroft WHO JUST SAID BASICALLY THAT HE ADORES HIM MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN THE UNIVERSE can get him out of it? What the hell, show?

* And then—AND THEN—Sherlock Holmes does this incredible thing: He keeps his vow (REMEMBER WHEN PEOPLE KEPT THEIR PROMISES ON THIS SHOW, JOHN?) and he SAVES JOHN WATSON’S FAMILY. Not his life, because John’s life isn’t at stake. He does something even more remarkable to me: He gives up his entire life, not for John Watson’s life, but for his *happiness.* His *happiness,* you guys. So that John could keep his wife and child, SHERLOCK HOLMES GIVES UP LITERALLY EVERYTHING. And it’s lovely. I mean, I love that he made that sacrifice, this is why I love Sherlock in this episode, he’s delightful through and through and he loves John literally more than is good for him. And it’s the first time—the first time EVER—that I have thought that he loves John more than John deserves.

* Because I know John Watson has put up with a lot from Sherlock Holmes, but here is my problem with this episode: His wife caused this huge, enormous, life-destroying mess. His wife, who he’s only known for a very brief period of time, briefer than he’s known Sherlock. His wife, whose real name he doesn’t even know. His wife, who lied to him and then shot his best friend. His wife made a huge mess AND SHERLOCK SACRIFICES HIMSELF TO CLEAN IT UP AND JOHN WATSON DOESN’T EVEN SAY *THANK YOU.* I mean, John, OPEN YOUR EYES HERE. YOUR BEST FRIEND BASICALLY WENT THROUGH HELL ALL EPISODE—*ALL* *EPISODE*—FOR ONE REASON AND ONE REASON ONLY: BECAUSE YOU MARRIED AN ASSASSIN. LIKE, TAKE SOME RESPONSIBILITY FOR THIS MESS. I just don’t get why we didn’t get one scene—one scene—where John is like, “Wow, this is all my fault,” or “Wow, this is all *Mary’s* fault.” Instead, we get that weird, detached scene by the plane where John is like, “Hey, see you, mate.” No, “Thank you for destroying your entire life in order to give me mine.” BECAUSE WHAT DID WE LEARN IN THE EMPTY HEARSE THAT WE KNOW JOHN KNOWS? SHERLOCK LOVES BEING SHERLOCK HOLMES. HE *LOVES* *IT.* So, just like at the end of TSoT, where John Watson deprives Sherlock of dancing (another love), we get John Watson keeping Sherlock from being Sherlock Holmes. I just… don’t even know what to make of that. What am I *supposed* to make of that? How can I even *fix* that in my head? Where is my John Watson who killed a man for Sherlock the day after he met him? Who would have protected him from anything? I know John has a family now to think of, but I just don’t understand where he went, how he disappeared so entirely in the course of two seasons, that he would just LET SHERLOCK DO THAT. (Remember when what I loved about this show was how they took the character of John Watson and saved him from the overlooked-ness that people can sometimes do to John Watson?)

* And I get that maybe we’re supposed to think that John believes Sherlock’s going to be back in six months. But, like, John, you could still say thank you, right? I mean, don’t you think you could? Or don’t you think you could maybe give us a scene where John is like, “You know what, Mary? You ruined my best friend’s life.” I get that John tells Mary he’s angry with her, but just, wow, I am *furious* with Mary. I guess the fact that I cannot forgive her is evidence that I love Sherlock more than John does… (Fighting words, I know. I am angry, so forgive me this moment of snarling.)

* And more of my problem: I HAVE TO DEAL WITH MARY BEING AROUND FOR THIS ENTIRE HIATUS. Blargh. I know this makes me a terrible, character-bashing person, but I have never wanted her in my show and I thought, “Well, at least I know she’ll be dead by the end of this episode,” AND NOW SHE IS NOT AND I’M LIKE, “UGH, WHAT AM I EVEN SUPPOSED TO DO WITH YOU, YOU TERRIBLE, SELFISH PERSON?” I mean, she is *more selfish than Sherlock Holmes,* and that takes some doing, people. AND WHAT ARE THEY DOING WITH THIS BABY? I understand the tremendous irony of this coming from me but I DON’T WANT A BABY IN BAKER STREET. Gah.

* Here’s what I thought was going to happen at the end of this episode: I thought Sherlock was going to get on the plane. I thought it was going to take off. I thought Mary was going to say to John, quietly, “I’ll give you a minute alone” (because I was still existing in a world where John Watson liked Sherlock Holmes a bit). I thought Mary would go back to the car and John would look at Sherlock’s departing plane and sigh. I thought Sherlock, on the plane, would suddenly sit up and blink and realize and twist to look out the window… and then I thought the car Mary was sitting in would blow up. That’s what I thought would happen.

* And then it didn’t. What happened was…some stupid thing with Moriarty that I think I’m supposed to be excited about and I’m mostly just, “…We’re doing Moriarty again? Didn’t we do Moriarty already? A lot? What?”

So yes. Thoughts? (To those who need it, a new chapter of Letters is going to be up soon. I forgot earlier today, sorry.)